golden showers...

alright now...this one is getting really personal and i don't usually share this story with many people...only those few i trust.  i figured maybe someone else could relate so here it is...after we were already having some issues in our relationship maybe sometime around july of 2008 i came home from work one day about 6:00pm and as usual he was sitting out back drinking a beer and i was in the house with the kids.  our only form of communication when i was home at that point was him texting me and me walking to the back door saying...i'm right here...why don't you just talk to me.  well the kids were fed and around 7 we made our way upstairs for bathtime and some quiet time before bed.  i got the baths and jammies on and got lilfoots and lulu in bed (lulu is the oldest for those that don't know).  i then went into my bedroom (that we still shared) and started getting myself changed into some comfy clothes from my work clothes.  here he comes stumbling up the stairs.  he then asked "what are you doing?" with very slurred speech.  i asked him if he was drunk and he continued to slur his words very badly and said "nah i jusss haddtoo berrs" i knew there were only two beers left that morning when i left for work so i'm sure he did only have two "berrs" but i also had wine in the fridge and asked him "well did you drink my wine?" his response..."nah i only haddtoo berrs." he then walked over towards his side of the bed...turned around to sit on the edge of the bed...went to sit down...and fell off the bed flat on his ass.  now...normally i would find this hysterical if someone did this in front of me...i would be rollin!!!  but after so many years of the slurred speech and the antics that come with being married to an alcoholic...it just wasn't funny anymore.  so he did whatever changing he was doing and got up and was staggering and turned around to talk to me and kept asking "are you mad at me?" um...no i just want to divorce you dumbass!!!  wtf!?!?  am i mad at you...no i just can't stand the sight of you.  he kept asking...and then finally he got that look on his face...ya know...that oh shit i'm gonna throw up face...and i said don't you dare throw up in here you better make it to the toilet and you better not leave a mess for me to clean up.  so he ran in the bathroom and i got all my shit including my alarm clock and made my way into the kids bedroom and set up shop and laid down to go to sleep.  then he came in looking for me and asked what i was doing...i said what does it look like i'm doing, i'm going to sleep...i have to get up early and can't risk a night of no sleep because you are drunk again.  he begged me to come to bed...i refused...he went away...i fell asleep.  i was woken up to a noise around 1am and found him standing over me in bed...urinating on me!!!  since my daughters were next to me in bed i couldn't exactly yell at him in the fashion that i thought he deserved for that so i whisperyelled "what the fuck are you doing?!?!?!"  he looked at me (still drunk) like he wasn't doing anything wrong...and shrugged his shoulders.  the next day i woke up...started getting things together to get myself in the shower to get ready for work...go in the bathroom and what do i find but a red mess of throw up in the toilet, the sink and splatters everywhere.  not sure about you but "berrs" aren't usually red...but the wine that he didn't drink sure was...and there you have it...that was it...that was that moment where there was absolutely no turning back.  golden showers are one thing when both parties are in agreement and into that sort of thing...but waking up to your husband urinating on you in the middle of the night is not my idea of a good...healthy marriage.